Mom and Dad moved out of the city,
And bought a house way out in the sticks.
I knew I wouldn’t like it there;
I had no friends to play with!
This new place was in the desert-
No grass, no swings, just dirt.
They said that I would like it there,
It would just take a little work.
Within about a month or so,
New families started moving in.
Of course, they lived on different streets;
I thought I’d never get a friend!
Then I saw a moving van
Unloading stuff next door.
They had better have a kid my age,
Or I was going to run away, I swore!
I didn’t see anyone for a couple of days,
Then a car pulled up in the drive.
A Dad got out, and then a Mom,
Please let there be a kid inside!
The rear door slowly swung open,
I could barely see the top of a head.
A kid my age finally got out;
Maybe there’s another one instead.
I’m afraid I was stuck with this one,
It looks like we’d be neighbors for life!
The way this tract is still empty,
She’ll probably end up being my wife!
Yes, my potential best friend was a girl,
And girls have cooties, you know.
They never want to play football,
And everyone knows they can’t throw.
I was in no hurry to meet her,
Girls don’t play army, so they don’t exist.
Then one day I ignored her-
She chased me down and used her fist.
“Don’t be rude, you boy, you!” she screamed,
“I was only trying to be nice!”
I told her that I didn’t like girls,
And that’s when she hit me… twice!
She made me say I was sorry,
(My arm was beginning to go numb!)
She told me to tell her she’s pretty,
And all the boys in the world are dumb!
Since that day when I saw her,
I’d smile and say “Have a nice day!”,
I was always so sweet when I saw her,
Because she demanded it that way!
This story is true, word for word,
I wouldn’t lie about this to you-
That’s how I met your Mother, Kids,
So be nice if you know what’s good for you!
My New Neighbor
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James Ryland 